"So Do All Who Live To See Such Times."

In honor of Lord of the Rings weekend on TNT, it felt only fitting for me to post something like this...


Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance.

Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.

Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.


That will continue to remain one of my favorite dialogues of the trilogy, to say that it loses it's potency in repetition is simply absurd.

The Day The Night Wept.

Raindrops splashing on the walls
capturing the freckled light
stolen from the moon.

A Crushing Embrace.

A pounding stone
suspended in the depths of
a light shade of black.
pulsing.
throbbing.
bursting within the confines of it's own imagining.
constricting with each and every sigh
veins of long since
frosted blood
frozen by the absence of
familiar presence.
fixated on the insanity that robbed it
of it's roots.
robbed of it's meaning.
robbed of it's preconceived notions
of all it thought meaning to be.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

"What can we know? What are we all? Poor silly half-brained things peering out at the infinite, with the aspirations of angels and the instincts of beasts..."

A White Blank Page.

I want to be here right now so bad that it hurts.

I Was Bluffing Then, But It Seems That Just Might Have Been The Truth.

I don't understand why life can't ever be somewhat normal for me. Why do I tend to inevitably attract the odd, unusually abnormal circumstances and occurences. I suppose it ties in well to my severe dislike for monotony, however there comes a point when it all seems a bit disconcerting. If there is a 0.001% chance of it happening, it will absolutely happen to me. Lately it just seems as if the situations I find myself in, don't ever commonly happen. Period. There are no previously established guidelines to follow, no common experiences with others to share, mostly because these things just don't happen to other people. Other normal people. I've always kind of accepted the fact that my life probably isn't going to fit into a common mold, but this is all a bit ridiculous.

The Hunt Begins Without Me...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 1 of film 7, is having its midnight premiere right now and

I. Am. Not. There.

Somebody tell me what's wrong with this picture.

Go Away.

Stress is making a reappearance.
Given the fact that I haven't had to deal with it in a while, I'm unfortunately having to relearn how to cope with it.
Not going to well.
Then again, what else is new.

On a brighter note, at least I'll be outside again this weekend...

Lumos.

There is something about snow that makes me think I'm at Hogwarts...

"Please Note-Your Records Have Now Been Transferred To The College Indicated Below..."

It's official.
I received my major declaration confirmation last night in the mail.
I'm a Geology major in the Appalachian State College of Arts and Sciences.
My home for the next few years will be the Rankin science building.
Off to the side is the empty check box for History majors stationed in Old Belk Library...
Weird does not even begin to describe it.

Dilemmas and Decisions.

New Zealand?...or...Peru?
Summer seems to far off, so why am I being forced to make all these decisions regarding summer 2011 now in November of 2010? I need money, therefore I need to work. I'm behind on my classes on account of my new geology major. Therefore I need to catch up and possibly take summer classes. I want to do something amazing. Therefore I want to travel. I want to be outside. Therefore I want to go on an extended summer expedition. I want to build up my outdoor experience resume. Therefore I NEED to go on an extended summer expedition. Many of these needs seem conflicting of one another. Many of these needs cannot easily coexist. I have never been good at planning ahead. This needs to change. Today I attended a interest meeting for an amazing 28 day outdoor adventure trip to New Zealand this summer consisting of backpacking, sightseeing, whitewater rafting, hiking, possibly climbing, cultural immersion, and sea kayaking. However, I've also heard of an expedition later in the summer to Peru that would consist of a more land based focus on things such as backpacking, climbing, and mountaineering. I'm torn and both trips come at a steep $$$. As much as I'd love to do both, that is obviously not an option. Not only that, but how am I to balance work with such an extended absence. I've never been a prompt decision maker. All this thinking and looking ahead has my thoughts all twisted into a convoluted knot of over-analysis. Sometimes I think an off button would be highly beneficial every now and again...like now...

"This Somber Song Would Drain The Sun, But It Won't Shine Until It's Sung."

First off, I know I haven't blogged in a while. To anyone who actually reads this blog, I apologize for that. I'd say that life has been busy lately, and it has, but then again it hasn't. If that makes any sense. It seems like lately I've been on auto-pilot and blogging is rarely undertaken when I'm overcome by such apathy. Since I got back from fall break I've kind of been in a funk. Fall break was nothing short of amazing seeing as how I spent the entirety of it climbing/camping/hiking out in Linville Gorge. I can honestly say that I think I have fallen in love with climbing largely as a result of the trip. I'm not very good at it at this point in time by any means, but for once my eagerness to simply do it anyway vastly overcomes my severe lack of ability. With any luck this will eventually lead to a growth in skill. As with most of my returns back to the reality of civilization though I got kind of depressed. I suppose my way of coping with wilderness withdrawal is to numbly accept back the regular routine of life. Well, I guess that detachment just hasn't fully worn off yet this time. On top of that, now Boone temperatures are plummeting at alarming rate and there is a call for snow in the forecast by the end of the week. For the first time in my life, the idea of an imminent winter is quite a sobering thought. I've really felt a flourishing of life in it's entirety this past fall and hate to part with it. To me this year, winter seems looming, barren, uncompromising, foreboding, unwelcome. This is probably the wrong attitude. My funk is probably almost over. Hopefully...I'd like to feel things again soon.

"He's a Baggins, Not Some Blockheaded Bracegirdle From Hardbottle."

"He used to often say there was only one Road; that it was like a great river: it's springs were at every doorstep and every path was it's tributary. 'It's a dangerous business, going out of your door,' he used to say. 'You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to...'"

Repeat.

I can't stop thinking about climbing.
What's wrong with me?

Regression?

"The difference between then and now is that, in 1917, you had intellectuals gathered in political parties that had well-formulated programs for drastic change, whereas today there are only politicians interested in power, but without any clear motive about where to take the country."

-Richard Pipes "Three 'Whys' of the Russian Revolution"

Marking The Territory Of This Newly Impassioned Soul.

I've most always been a "wing it and see how it goes" kind of person.

That person who asks for directions from others and follows blindly. That person who never really pays attention to what street they're on, then regrets it later when such information would have come in handy. That person who always used being "directionally challenged" as an excuse for being lost.

However, what I've discovered lately is that maybe that's just not enough anymore. Maybe I need to have some sort of map to where I'm going. Maybe direction is important. Maybe it adds more meaning to the journey.

For the first time I actually feel as if my life has some sort of direction and frankly I have no idea what to make of it.

It's All About the Timing.

There's something about the middle of the night that I find highly conducive to essay writing.

He Would.

"Power, Napoleon once observed, is never ridiculous. It covers up many embarrassments."

Cause You're Hot Then You're Cold.

I have quite recently come to the realization that I have been taking something often overlooked for granted.

Consistent water temperature while showering.

Yes, 3rd floor of East, I'm talking to you. In all honesty, I wouldn't mind a scalding hot shower in the morning chill or even an icy cold one to douse the body heat of a recent workout.

However, your indecision is proving to be most annoying. I'm willing to try to make this work if you would just play along every once in a while.

Note the faint hint of desperation in my tone.

With the Wild Wolves Around You.

This link is for anyone with an appreciation for genuinely raw musical talent. I dare you to listen to it without feeling something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goStnWG_EXQ&feature=channel

"Someday my pain, someday my pain
Will mark you
Harness your blame, harness your blame
And walk through

With the wild wolves around you
In the morning, I'll call you
Send it farther on

Solace my game, solace my game
It stars you
Swing wide your crane, swing wide your crane
And run me through

And the story's all over you
In the morning i'll call you
Can't you find a clue when your eyes are all painted Sinatra blue

What might have been lost -
Don't bother me"

-Bon Iver.

Does This Deafening Silence Mean Nothing To Nobody But Me.

I can see
the familiar tint of aged hazel
fading from your eyes.

Chasms of separation,
Location.

The knowing
has undoubtedly always been there
breaking through the stretched skin.

A loosened grip,
Slip.

A reflection as well known
as my own
reversed in tints of gray.

An abnormally heavy heart,
Depart.

A dripping glue
held fastened by unbearable absence
scraped thin.

Still clinging for all that was,
Because.

Soiled honesty
drenched in tainted perspectives
of questionable resoluteness.

The company of clashing cultures,
Vultures.

A swallowed stone
held caught in my throat
between broken thoughts never voiced.

Please don’t take all that I’ve known,
Alone.

A Week Well Spent.

I wanted to post up an adequate description of Parkersburg, West Virginia in order for others to better understand my time spent here.
However, I have been unable to do so.
This statement in itself shall have to suffice.
Interpret as you will.

Twenty.

Like I have every Saturday evening of this summer, I recieved my schedule for the following week...

Crabtree Valley Mall
Batchelor, Chase

CFA Schedule (08/02/2010 - 08/07/2010)
=======================================================================

MONDAY (08/02/2010):

TUESDAY (08/03/2010):

WEDNESDAY (08/04/2010):

THURSDAY (08/05/2010):

FRIDAY (08/06/2010):

SATURDAY (08/07/2010):

And that's when it hit me...summer is rapidly coming to a close. No more work schedules to follow until my month long return to Raleigh come December. May, June, and July of 2010 are dead and gone. Summer 2010 will very soon be finished and I'll be back up in Boone in some 20 days. 20 days that will be very quickly spent through even more traveling on my part. 20 days until a sense of permanence, at least for the duration of the school year, will set in. 20 days to finish up all that I started at the beginning of May. 20 days...

Out West 2010. A Fleeting Moment.

This is a montage of some of my favorite pictures from the Southwest. I truly have fallen in love with the area. Enjoy my fragmented photographic documentation of the trip...